


Death Really Isn't All That

by wickedradical



Series: Danse Macabre [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlogs, Depression, Other, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedradical/pseuds/wickedradical
Summary: Sometimes you wanted to die. Someone with personal experiences in death convinces you that it really isn't that interesting.Did you just gain a new friend?





	

Sometimes, you wanted to die. It wasn't all that often at first, but, as most, if not all, diseases do over time, the urge multiplied. For days you didn’t want to exist. Weeks. Months, even. It became easier and easier to slip into a state of mind where you zoned everything out, and pretended that if nothing else existed, that you didn’t either.

However, as you were told by psychiatrists and therapists alike, running away was the opposite of a good coping mechanism. You were constantly pushed to be outside more often, to get some sun on your almost ghostly pale skin. But, you ignored them, as you were wont to do, preferring to spend your days alone and inside. Well, alone, save for the company of the internet, as much as it could be considered such.

You pulled up your chat client, wondering if anyone had taken time out of their day to say something. Scrolling through the few conversations you’d managed to start warranted nothing, so you went on an interest check and meandered throughout the different subjects. Anime, fantasy, animals.. Eh, not what you were really in the mood for at the moment.

Archaeology.

Huh. That wasn’t too bad. Dead things were pretty cool, weren’t they? You didn’t suppose you’d find anything better, so you shrugged it off and clicked the link.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling yeOldeUlulations[YOU]  


AA: hey  
AA: anyone there?  
YOU: um  
YOU: hi  
AA: hello!  
AA: do you like archaeology?  


You stared at the screen for a moment, debating whether or not to lie. You could tell this person that you were just bored, but you didn’t want to scare off any potential friends. Then again, what was the point in lying? Who cared anymore?

YOU: dead things are p cool  
AA: you mean like dead civilizations?  
AA: long lost to the rest of the world  
AA: crumbling and forgotten  
AA: so far left behind that no one is sure they ever really existed in the first place  
AA: right? :D  
YOU: well  


Despite how eager this person seemed to be, how lighthearted their words rang out, you couldn’t help but find the more depressing tone underlying their poetic ramble. Were you really so low as to relate to some dusty old city they spoke of?

Yes.

YOU: idk i guess  
YOU: being dead would be cool  
YOU: i guess  


You couldn’t believe you’d just said that to a random stranger! What would they think of you?

What would they say in return?

AA: youd be surprised actually!  
AA: death is pretty boring  
AA: speaking from personal experience id advise against it  
AA: being alive lets you do so much more!!!  
YOU: are you sure  
YOU: wait  


You stared at the screen for a moment, brows furrowed in confusion.

YOU: what do you mean  
AA: what do you mean what do i mean?  
AA: :D  


Either this person was high as all get out, or they were messing with you.

YOU: what personal experience  
AA: i was dead  
AA: good thing im not anymore though!  
AA: like i said  
AA: it was awfully dull  
AA: ascending has made me feel more alive than ive ever truly felt!  
YOU: what  
AA: am i not being clear?  
YOU: the  
AA: i was dead but i came back to life  
YOU: heck  


This person was totally on drugs.

YOU: are you high  
AA: what do you mean?  
AA: im not that tall  
YOU: are you on drugs  
AA: oh!  
AA: do you mean spoor slime?  
YOU: what on earth is sopor slime  
AA: what is earth?  
YOU: the planet we live on???  
AA: i dont live on a planet silly!  


You know what?

You didn’t even care anymore.

You were going to indulge this person’s fantasies. You’d dabbled in role-play on occasion, that probably what this all was.

Nothing more.

YOU: well where do you live?  
AA: in the dream bubbles!  
YOU: where are they?  
AA: out in space somewhere i believe  
AA: and in dreams it would seem  
AA: where is earth?  
YOU: um  
YOU: out in space somewhere too??  
YOU: next to a bunch of other planets  
AA: thats cool!  
AA: i would come visit but im too busy over here  
AA: perhaps you could come visit me?  
YOU: um  
YOU: in my dreams?  
AA: of course!  
AA: theyre called dream bubbles for a reason  
YOU: but  
YOU: how?  
AA: i dont know!  
AA: the only other way would be through death  
AA: but that would limit your options for going anywhere else  
AA: so i would advise against it  


You sat back for a moment, sighing. However nice it was to play out this little fantasy, it wasn’t real and you shouldn’t be getting so invested in it. Still, you encouraged the role-play onwards, having always had bad self-discipline. It was fun and someone was talking to you at least, so you might as well enjoy it.

YOU: what is being dead like?  
YOU: like  
YOU: do you still have a body?  
AA: boring  
AA: yeah i had a body but i couldnt feel  
AA: emotions were practically nonexistent  
AA: but theyre back now and its great!!!  
AA: i feel so happy!  
YOU: thats good  
YOU: i wish i could be so happy  
YOU: if i died and came back to life would i be happy?  
AA: i mean you could try  
AA: but you dont strike me as the patient type  
AA: however  
AA: regardless of whether you are dead or merely sleeping id be glad to show you around the dream bubbles!  
YOU: that would be nice  
AA: indeed!  
YOU: maybe i should come sometime  
AA: its your choice  
AA: dont rush yourself  
AA: im made of time i can wait  
YOU: thanks for chatting  
YOU: i gtg  
AA: thank you!  
AA: the names aradia if you were wondering  
AA: <3

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling yeOldeUlulations[YOU]  


You leaned back in your chair once more, staring up at the ceiling. You were feeling pretty tired. What good wasn’t there to be found within a nap? Shutting your laptop lid, you scooted the chair across the room and plopped into bed. Sleep was merciful and came quick, slowly pulling you adrift in a sea of burgundy text and bubbles in outer space.

**Author's Note:**

> i cant believe none of my fav characters have /reader fics this offends me
> 
> also this is my first time writing a chatlog?? it was v fun  
> EXCEPT FOR THE FORMATTING(first time formatting too)  
> screw formatting my hand is literally cramping rn


End file.
